


Rubble

by oathkeeping



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Bodhi Rook Needs a Hug, Gen, Mind fuckery, i dont know what this is sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 21:12:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9345275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oathkeeping/pseuds/oathkeeping
Summary: Written for a prompt on tumblr: Rogue One AU in which Bodhi doesn't 'recover' from the 'madness' he receives.It is exactly what it sounds like.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Not my standard fare but this was a prompt I got, and ... this happened. I'm so sorry Bodhi, please know I want warmth and happiness for you.

Bodhi Rook defects.

He earns enough credits gambling and leaves before first light, intending to deliver his message and never look back.

If only fate was so kind. Saw Gerrera was cruel. He expected distrust, but he didn’t expect this.

Maybe it’s what he deserved, for staying so long with his head down, blindly following orders. Galen said that wasn’t obedience, that he could make it right if he were willing to help. He took the chance, and look where it got him.

The beast… it was in every crevice of his mind. Poking, prodding, pulling - scraping. Leaving him _raw_ and _exposed_ and _empty_. He’d pulled on his bonds until his wrists were bleeding and screamed until his voice left him but it didn’t stop. It pulled him apart, piece by piece - stripping him of who he was, his memories, his life. Tossed them aside like it was nothing. Like _he_ was nothing.

It didn’t stop, not until Bodi Rook slumped forward uselessly in the chair and the shadowy tendrils extracted themselves from his head. Tried to stuff it all back in, but nothing fit.

Saw Gerrera had his answer.

 _(Even if it came at a price, it always comes at a price. He wasn’t overly concerned, if it meant one less piece of Imperial scum, and one huge revelation for the rebels)_.

They tossed him in a cell and he curled in on himself. All he knew was pain. Things flashed in his mind, images that felt so disconnected from his body, his brain they may as well have been a holo, something he watched from afar. A kind woman, a hand in his. The burn of failure.

There are others, outside in the next cell - one of them grabs him before the other man, pushes him away and asks - “Are you the pilot?” Pilot. Pilot. The word means something. It should have bearing on his life - it’s _him_ , he’s the Pilot. He can mutter a shaky reply, and then everything starts to shake and they’re all running.

His home is gone. And he should have gone with it.

–

Cassian doesn’t know what to do with the pilot, when they board the ship. The young man pulls his knees up to his chest and makes himself so small in the corner of the ship that the only evidence of him actually being there is the continued muttering and occasional sob.

–

Jyn hadn’t approved of Saw’s methods. War or not, there had to be a point - they were no worse than the enemy, if they did things like this. She’s seen more than a few men, just like the pilot, withered and empty until they were either put of their misery or thrown back out into the world. She wants to ask about her father, but holds off.

–

Chirrut cannot imagine what sort of monster can render someone so completely broken, he’s no Jedi, but he doesn’t need to feel the pain and fear radiating off of the young man in waves. He tries to soothe the young man and is rewarded when he falls into a fitful slumber.

And Baze, listens to what was described in silence and thinks that he wouldn’t wish that on his worst enemy.

–

The silence is deafening, until it all comes roaring back to him in a single moment, but it’s too much. It’s too much and he can’t handle it. There are so many memories, so much - is any of it real? _Who are you?_ He can’t answer.

A woman in white asks him in a calm and soothing tone, tells him not to be afraid and he answers what he can.

He _hopes_ it can be enough. He _wants_ to be enough. Someone once told him he could be.

–

There aren’t many people that understand, that know why or how, or even if there’s a way to reverse what was done. At best, the Rebels decide that they will try to help Bodhi when they’re able. He did, afterall pay the price for helping them in the first place. It’s not a popular stance in the council. He was once an enemy, how do they know he can be trusted, but it’s one that Mon Mothma stands by.

–

Without the pilot, Eadu is even more of a disaster that nearly claims Jyn’s life, as well as her father’s.

Without the pilot, the plan to sneak into Scarif as an Imperial cargo transport relies on K2′s unconvincing attempts at a lie. And while they make it inside, it goes to shit, the ship touches down and suddenly the firefight surrounds them almost before they have a chance. The plans never make it out as Jyn and Cassian are all struck down fighting their way up.

_(In another world Bodhi Rook remembers. In another world, the Bor Gullet does not break him apart at the seams, and he shows bravery, he makes it right - on Eadu, and on Scarif and he’s a hero in the Rebellion among the others of Rogue One)._

**Author's Note:**

> So I really, really, really loved Rogue One. You'll never guess who my favorite character was. 
> 
> I take requests! Hit me up at my tumblr [here](http://grimgrinningghoul.tumblr.com/) and leave me an ask and I'll see what I can do.


End file.
